The agony of decision

I am so new to this fostering… They warn that you have to be emotionally able to give love to the animal, all the while knowing you are preparing her for her forever home.

Confession – I fostered as a test. Like dipping my toes in the water to see how it felt.  Adoption was always in my mind, and I did let the rescue group know that. But but but…

Now do I  move to adopt her, or let the world come calling to inspect her?

My friends weigh in:

*yikes!  You weren’t thinking of giving her up were you??
*My opinion: if you really wanted this dog there would be no buts.
*Is it the process that you love?….seeing a personality develop from your loving care….but… would you want to do this again?* ….if not! … maybe keeping Crystal even with reservations may be the best choice.
*are you sure you want to let her go? because I have a family I can recommend her to…? but I want to make sure this is what you are ready for 
Think I will take the dog out and ponder in the snow.
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One Response to The agony of decision

  1. Louise Currie says:

    I recognize so many things just looking at the pictures…the little nub tail down…I remember walking Molly in hopes that the little nub would stand straignt up…usually after we passed the traffic part and got on the walking trails, she would relax, sniff all about, and eventually the little nub would be up, carelessly, and the ears would perk up and flop naturally rather than glued back to her head as if they had been gelled there with some magic dog glue ear spray…
    One little front leg up in sort of mid step as she wonders, hesitates, thinks, confused, before daring to move on…
    Molly was rescued at about the same age as Crystal from a “garage breeder”…she lived on pavement…at first she would only pee on pavement, walk off the lawn to the street or sidewalk, pee then get back on the grass…
    I won’t lie to you, it took months, but the important thing is, do you feel the connection?…the longing to see her blossom?…do you want to know her as the dog she can be and will become? and if she never got any better than she is today, could you still love her,? care for her as a damaged little self……There is a lot of wounded people walking around out there everyday, in the human world and in the puppy world too…are you the one to help her have as good a life as her emotional baggage will allow, help her to live in today…not yesterday…
    “Don’t let yourself be held hostage by thoughts of past cruelties and abuse. Don’t treat her like a victim. The key here is confidence. Build hers with firm consistent training and you will turn her around”
    M Niego, Coordinator of Companion Animal Services, ASPCA, New York, N.Y.
    (introduction to: Second Hand Dog: How to Turn Yours Into a First Rate Pet…by Carol Lea Benjamin)..
    The walks, they will come, in the spring …she has probably not ever been outside and now that she does, it is this big, white, scary, cold place…wait till she discovers grass, and crickets, and floating dandelion fluff…and running …and smelly tree stumps and puddles with floating leaves….
    My Molly almost 2 years later…can’t get out fast enough when it is walk time, but once she knows we are heading back, can’t get home fast enough…the little nub, up most of the time, except garbage days and passing school bus..and today, discovered that popping the tab on a can of soda will make her hide under the bed…but then again, she plays, comes for cuddles, loves kisses, and jumps up and up for cookies, asks for the door, so …we’ll just by bottled pop from now on….as the nights where she needs to curl up under the covers rather than sleep in her own little bed, get fewer and farther between…Confidence!!, she’s almost there or maybe this is as good as it gets? but maybe tomorrow, ……we’ll walk by the garbage cans at the corner….

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